Learning to Love
by Skyla Ishiyama
Summary: A girl named Rain comes to Kadic. Unknown, for now, is her past, but the CL group befriends her. What happens after a certain blonde falls for her? OxOC, UxY, JxA. First story R
1. Bittersweet

**A/N:** This is my first ever story posted on so please be kind. Constructive criticism greatly appreciated. The characters may seem OOC, but please bare with me. If no one likes the story, I'll delete it, so don't be afraid to say if you don't like it. So, here's my first story. Let's see if I get this right... o.O

Disclaimer: I do not own anything...except Rain! She's MINE!

**Learning to Love**

**Rain's POV**

I walked across the courtyard, the sun just starting to peek over the horizon. I sat down on my favorite bench, shaded by a huge oak. I closed my eyes and savored the sounds of the early morning. I heard the soft padding of footsteps on the grass.

"Rain?" a voice called to me. I opened my eyes to see Odd.

"Hey Odd." I said softly.

"Whatcha doing up so early?"

"I could ask you the same question. You're never up at six in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep. Too much sugar...and caffeine." he laughed softly.

"Have they not learned to keep you far from that stuff?"

"Of course! They have it under lock and key, no joke! I get to it anyway." he grinned.

"Somehow I knew..." I muttered.

"Well, I've got to break into the sugar stash. I'll see you later?"

"Yeah...see you later." I replied softly. I felt a cool breeze caress my cheek as I turned to watch him walk away. I went back to enjoying the natural sounds when a heard a shrill voice mocking me. I looked at my watch and saw that it was seven. _I must've dozed off._ I turned my attention to my mocker.

"Hey Kamera, where's your posse? The freaks I mean. I don't know why you hang out with them. They're ruining your rep." Sissi said.

"Delmas, when will you learn to shut up? The only freaks I ever see are you and your group. But hey, why blame them, I'd want to be on good terms with the principal's daughter too, though I don't know about ruining my image by hanging with you." I countered , I was not in the mood for Sissi's idiocy. She looked highly offended before storming off. I closed my eyes for a minute to shake my dislike of her. I opened them again to see my friends walking towards me, Odd kind of spazzing, Yumi and Ulrich holding hands, and Aelita and Jeremie talking together, probably about some really elevated IQ thing. Ulrich was like a brother to me, and Aelita and Yumi like sisters. Jeremie and Odd were really good friends, but I didn't know them quite well enough to call them brothers.

"Hey Rain." they called to me. I smiled and waved to them as they approached.

**Yumi's POV**

I smiled as I approached my 'sister'. She looked a little distracted, she was probably just deep in thought again. I looked over at Odd, who was spazzing so much. I don't know _how_ he gets to the sugar, but he does. I knew that he liked Rain, but I knew that it wasn't a smart idea for them to get into a relationship, and it seemed Odd sensed it too. You see, she had a tough past, one that made her fear love. Sure, she may have wanted it, but she feared it. I'm sure it was hard for her, seeing me and Ulrich together, and Jeremie and Aelita together... Jeremie always seemed to want to get Odd and her together, I don't know when he became a matchmaker, but he always seemed to edge his two-cents in.

"Hey everyone." her soft voice said. I glanced up to look into her eyes. They were the softest blue I'd ever seen, but I could see a distant sadness that always seemed to linger there. Her eyes looked as if someone said one wrong word that they would shatter and lose the last little bit of spark left. I was worried about her. She always seemed so sad.

"Hey Rae." I said, smiling. She smiled back.

"Hey, we're having a movie night on Sunday...what to come?" Jeremie asked.

"Sure." she answered.

"Great!" Ulrich said, we all grinned.

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**Rain's POV**

Sunday came all too quickly. Sure, I wanted to go to movie night... but I got this feeling that something was going to happen. Not necessarily something horrible...but I wasn't sure if it was great either.

"Hey everyone." I said when I approached the group who were waiting for me. They smiled and then we headed to Yumi's house. Her parents agreed to let us go there since they have a big screen TV.

"So what do you guys want to watch? We've got...Resident Evil, Flight Plan, Left Behind one and two, The Rose, Anger Management...ummm...that's about it..." Yumi said.

"Flight Plan looks good..." I commented looking at the cover of the movie.

"RESIDENT EVIL!" Ulrich and Odd said together.

"Of course..." Yumi muttered.

"I say Flight Plan." Aelita sided with me.

"Let's watch Flight Plan first. Then Resident Evil."

"Ok." we all agreed. While we were watching the movie, Jeremie and Odd were whispering. I didn't like the looks of this... it looked like they were plotting something, something that Odd was reluctant to follow... I cleared my mind of that and went back to watching the movie. The movie was great, but that uneasy feeling came back when Odd was looking at me in an...odd way.

"Ummm... Rain?" he said. I became very fidgety.

"Yeah...?" I replied.

"Would...would you go out with me?" he said. I froze. Everyone was looking at me. I started to freak out and I bolted out the door. A tear ran down my face as I ran to the woods by the school. When I was pretty deep into the woods I dropped to my knees and covered my ears. Memories were flooding back. Terrible memories that I wanted to forget.

"Rain!" I heard Yumi and Aelita call. I felt arms wrap around me and pull me into a hug. I looked up to see Odd looking down at me, pain in him eyes.

"I'm sorry Odd, so sorry." I said still crying.

"Why, Rae? Why are you sorry?" he asked gently.

"I don't want to hurt you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you or anyone else. I'm too scared of relationships ans love...I'm scared." I said. He stroked my hair.

"Shh...it's ok. It will all be ok." My eyes slowly closed.

**Odd's POV**

I looked down at the broken girl. I wanted to take her pain and fears away. I felt her grow limp as she became unconscious to the world. I looked over at Jeremie, whose face was ridden with guilt.

"Come on let's get back to Yumi's house." I said. The others nodded.

I cradled Rain in my arms and picked her up. The others started walking with me. When we got back to Yumi's, I set Rain on the couch. She stirred before opening her eyes a little.

"Odd?" she whispered.

"I'm here." I kneeled beside her.

"Yes." she said, her voice fading before her eyes closed again. I kissed her forehead, a slight smile playing on my lips.

"Who knew life would be so bittersweet?" I whispered to myself.


	2. Now or Never

**A/N:** Another chapter for you people! The song...is mine. DON'T STEAL IT! I hope you like the story and I realize the characters are OOC but to make it all fit, I had to do that, but I'm going to try and get them back in character. If you don't like the story, say so. That way I don't waste my efforts on it and I can attempt to write another one. So if you don't like it, I won't write anymore. Please tell me if you like it though, because reviews are always uplifting and appreciated.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Except Rain and the song in this chapter. Rain Kamera is MINE!

**Learning to Love**

**Odd's POV**

"She said yes!" I whispered excitedly to the others.

"I swear if you hurt her I will kill you." Yumi said, the others nodding.

"If I hurt her, I'll kill myself." I replied.

"Don't push her, she's scared enough as it is." Aelita said, I nodded.

_**Your eyes hold so much sadness**_

_**I want you to be happy**_

_**I want to protect you**_

_**I just want you to know I love you**_

_**I'd give everything I own to hear you laughing**_

_**I would give you the world if I could**_

She stirred in her sleep before waking up.

"Hey." she said gently.

"Hey." I replied back. "What movie now?" We all laughed.

"Resident Evil sounds great." Rain smiled. I loved her smile, it always lit up her face.

"She going to the dark side!" Yumi faked astonishment. "Welcome to the dark side."

"Welcome? I was there a looooooong time ago!" Rain smirked. Once again we were all on the floor laughing.

I sat beside Rain as the movie started and I felt her fingers timidly entwine themselves in mine. I gave a gently reassuring squeeze as I felt her fingers start to retreat, unsure of what they were doing.

_**I'll wipe away your tears**_

_**Battle all your fears**_

_**No matter how long it takes**_

_**I just want you in my arms**_

_**I want you to feel safe**_

_**I want you in my arms**_

She leaned her head against my shoulder, but then pulled away. I untangled our fingers and put an arm around her shoulder and brought her closer to me, her head once more on my shoulder as if to show her not to be afraid, that it was all ok.

_**You tried to defeat your pain alone**_

_**Let me help you, I want to help you**_

_**Give yourself a chance, take a risk**_

_**I would never hurt you**_

_**And if I did I'd hurt myself**_

_**I want you to know I love you**_

She relaxed against me, but I could feel a slight shiver of fear shake her figure. I wanted to know how to help her be more comfortable and not so intimidated.

_**I'll wipe away you tears**_

_**Battle all your fears**_

_**No matter how long it takes**_

_**I just want you in my arms**_

_**I want to make you feel safe**_

_**I want you in my arms**_

"You OK?" I whispered. She nodded smiling. Did I mention I loved her smile?

The movie was great! We both enjoyed it so much. Next we watched Ice Age. Yumi had found it under some books. Rain fell asleep on my shoulder, her gentle breathing tickling my neck, and a soft smile playing on her face. I couldn't help but think how angelic she looked as she slept.

"Awwwwwwww..." the others sounded. I gave them a half-hearted glare.

"Shut up." I muttered

"Come on, leave 'um alone. We _are_ worse then them." Yumi sighed.

"Yeah...I guess you're right." Aelita said, the others nodding they're agreement.

"Shh! You're going to wake her!" I chided quietly.

"He's right." Ulrich said.

Rain's smile widened, "I'm already awake guys." She laughed.

"Great! Just in time to go back to sleep!" Yumi laughed.

"I get the love seat as usual." Aelita said.

"I'll take the couch." Yumi said.

"I get the chair!" Rain smiled.

"And we get to head back to the dorms." Ulrich mumbled.

"NIGHT!" The three girls said as we walked out the door.

**Rain's POV**

I walked over to the chair where I usually slept because I rarely don't sleep in a tight ball. I faked a yawn as I flopped down on the chair.

"Night, you two." I said before Yumi turned the lights off. I waited until I heard the rhythmic sound of both girls breathing, telling me they were asleep. I tiptoed to the back door and soundlessly opened it and slipped out. I sat on the cold ground and looked at the sky. I loved looking at the night sky as the colors danced across it and the clouds drift like lifeless cotton balls creating unique patterns that can never again be made. The sky always took my breath away, especially tonight as the stars glittered. I studied the stars, and there was one thing I couldn't deny. Hope was written in the stars.

**Yumi's POV**

I heard Rain get up, she always did. But tonight, I got up and went out to see how she was.

"Rain?" She turned around, clearly startled.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked.

"Of course not. You OK?" I asked.

"Yeah...just...scared." she answered.

"Of the relationship?"

"Of everything Yumi. I can't just go back to trusting people so easily after what happened."

"I know, Rae, I know. But you still haven't told me what exactly happened." I said, putting a hand on her shoulder, a section of her light brunette hair caressed my hand as she turned to look at me.

"It's not an easy thing to say..."

"It's OK, Rae, I'm here whenever you feel like talking." I assured her.

"I guess it's now or never..." she trailed off.

**A/N: **Cliffhanger! OK, it's going to get better I swear! Here's the second chapter! I hope you all like it, next chapter will explain a lot about Rain. It's going to be Angsty, but it will explain why she has this fear of her's, and what life was like for her before Kadic. If you hate the chapter, say so. If you love the chapter, say so. Don't be timid to tell me what you think! If you have any suggestions or something you want me to add in the story, put it in your review! I'd like to thank LadyKyra13, StrugglingArtist, and divinedragon7, my first reviewers! Thanks a million! You guys rock! The next chapter will take longer because, unfortunately, I have school. A school that loves to pile the homework over our heads and drown us with work. So please be patient with me.


	3. Can't Turn Back Now

**A/N:** I'm back! And soon then I expected! OK, it doesn't have _a lot_ of angst... but it's enough for now. The song lyrics are mine once more. If you want to borrow them, ASK and please give me credit, that's all I ask. And I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed, cause you are the ones who inspired me to write so quickly. The more reviews there are, the faster I update (hint hint).All your comments were lovely and very appreciated! You guys made my day! So thanks a lot! I give you all cookies! Sorry...I'm a little hyper right now... I hope you all enjoy the chapter!

Disclaimer: I don't own. Unless you count my dreams. I do however own Rain. She is mine. And the song lyrics, mine also!

**Learning to Love**

**Rain's POV**

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "My dad...was not...loving. He only got with mom for her money. She was blind with love, so she didn't see he didn't love her too..." I trailed off.

"You don't have to go on." Yumi told me.

"I have to, or I'll never be able to." I said quickly. "My father, when mom was away, would mistreat me. Neglect me, yell at me for nothing. And it was worse when mom was gone for business trips. He wouldn't feed me, he would make me clean the house until it was spotless. Which is impossible. One night...I don't know what happened to him, but one night, he took a kitchen knife and stabbed it through my shoulder and slamming me hard into a wall. The knife kept me against the wall as I screamed in pain.

_Flashback_

_I was helpless as I watched the next scene unfold. With every slight movement, my shoulder burned with pain, causing me to scream more. Tears poured down my eyes as I watched my father turn his dagger on mom, who had coming running down the stair after hearing my tormented screams. He grabbed her wrist and threw her to the ground. _

"_MOMMA!" I screamed before he stabbed her for the first time._

"_Rain Ellaina Kamera, I will always love you, my daughter." she managed to say before he stabbed her again. She screamed in agony as I just sobbed. There was nothing I **could** do. A pool of blood began to form by her now lifeless body. The knife ripped out of the wall as I ran with all the strength I could muster, ignoring the pain that shot through my body. I ran to her, and wrapped my arms around her and cried._

"_She was worthless. And so are you. I'll leave you to die as well." my fathers cruel voice floated over to me._

_End Flashback_

"But I didn't die. I lived at the Kamera Mansion until I got a job and earned enough money to go to Kadic. Ever since then, I couldn't trust anyone. Until now, because I'm trusting you. But you've given me reasons to trust you. And ever since I saw what love did to my mom, I've feared it."

"It's no wonder why." Yumi muttered.

"And now, I don't know what to do. I just want the life I had before mom's death."

_**If you could only see the way things were**_

_**You'd understand why this hurts**_

_**I can turn back time**_

_**I can't correct any mistakes**_

_**I'm only faced with a new day**_

_**And the things that could go wrong**_

"Everything was perfect, until she married _him_." the name was like poison on my tongue.

"So he wasn't your biological father?" Yumi asked confused.

"He is. I was born two years before the marriage though." I said.

_**If I could go back**_

_**To the way things were**_

_**Things would be so much better**_

_**I wouldn't feel so under the weather**_

_**The wrong would be undone**_

_**But I can't turn back time**_

"At first, she wasn't going to marry him, she felt it was a huge mistake. But she began to think differently for who knows what reason. She decided it'd be better if I grew up with a dad. I just wish she didn't pick him." I whispered the last part. "To think I began to trust him." I hissed.

"No wonder it's hard for you to trust people. It'd be hard for me to trust if that happened to me." Yumi said.

_**The way things were**_

_**Only caused pain**_

_**Even through the sunshine**_

_**There was always rain**_

_**If only I could erase what went wrong**_

_**But who am I to play God?**_

"I just wish life could be different, Better, ya know?" I said, "Without all these conflicting feelings, one telling me one thing, the other totally disagreeing. It's just so...confusing and annoying. I want someone to hold me, tell me everything's alright. Comfort me and all that... but it scares me. So much, Yumi. I can't tell if I like him... because I've never felt anything to compare it too. How do you know if you love someone Yumi?" a tear slid down my cheek.

_**If I could go back**_

_**To the way things were**_

_**Things would be so much better**_

_**I wouldn't feel so under the weather**_

_**The wrong would be undone**_

_**But I can't turn back time**_

"I takes time, Rae, to get over a fear you've had so long. Now about love, it's an indescribable feeling that no words can express. It's like, when you're around that person, everything's so wonderful, like nothing could ever go wrong. Like they could just take the pain away. But these feelings take time, they don't just come overnight, though some do fall in love at first sight."

_**It takes time to heal**_

_**Yet it takes time to break**_

_**Sometimes only seconds,**_

_**Caused by one's mistake**_

_**The world would be much better**_

_**If people would give and not take**_

"Yumi, I'm so confused. Can you understand? I know love isn't automatic, it isn't something you can make yourself feel. But I can't tell if that's what I'm feeling, cause I've never had such feelings. I know I said that earlier, but it's because I don't know! It's just so...so..." I groaned, "I don't know! I just want everything to be cut and dry like it used to be."

_**If I could go back**_

_**To the way things were**_

_**Things would be so much better**_

_**I wouldn't feel so under the weather**_

_**The wrong would be undone**_

_**But I can't turn back time **_

_**I can't turn back time**_

"It's hard, I know, Rae, to live with what's happened. But the cold, hard, hated truth is, You can't go back."

"I know. Thanks for listening, Yumi."

"It's no problem. I'm just happy I could help." she smiled.

"You helped." I smiled. _But I'm still a little down..._ I thought. It was true, saying all that out loud finalized it. Made it real. There was no denying it now. Yumi yawned. "You should go to bed, you look tired." I commented.

"I think that's a good idea. You coming?" she asked.

"No, I'm going to stay out here for a while and look at the stars." I said.

"See you in the morning then."

"Sleep tight." I smiled.

"Night." she yawned again before walking back in.

I looked at the stars a little longer, and listened to the music of night before saying to myself, "Can't turn back now..."

**A/N:** So there it is. Hope you liked it. Please Review! They get me motivated to write the chapters faster! Or sometimes it's just cause I'm in a writing mood... but stick with the first one! OK, a little question, should I bring XANA into the picture, or leave him out? Review with your answer! If you have any questions...REVIEW! Not that I'm forcing you...just encouraging... So next update might not be so quick...be patient please. And I think that's all I have to say... Until next time!


	4. I Love You

**A/N: **I'm kinda in a random mood.So this might not be the best chapter... cause it just might not be... Anyway, that's not what I'm here to write about. But first as always, I want to remind you to tell me what you think, and be honest. If you hate it, say so. If you love it, say so. I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but that's the way life is. Anyway, here's the next chapter, and if you don't like it...well I'm not forcing you to read it. Anyway, on with the story, after a message from our sponsor!

(Message from our sponsor )** Disclaimer (noun) a statement disclaiming something, especially responsibility. **In other words, I do not own anything except the plot, Rain Kamera, and any and all song that I write and put in the chapters. If I don't own the song, I'll tell you. **Now on with the chapter!**

**Learning to Love**

**Rain's POV**

Time seemed to progress slowly, until the first light of day peaked over the horizon. I'd stayed outside, watching the stars all night and early morning. I began to hum a song, before closing my eyes and just feeling the morning breeze wash over my body. _I better get inside before Yumi wakes up and discovers I didn't sleep._ I thought, checking my watch. _7:15 am. Yumi'll be up soon..._ I stood up and steadied myself, before heading inside. I headed to the kitchen to prepare some coffee. Or else I'd be dead on my feet during school. _Shoot. I forgot we have school today._ I saw some coffee was already done. Yumi's mom must've made some already. Just then Yumi walked into the kitchen.

"You never went to sleep, Rae. What's wrong?" Yumi asked in a motherly tone.

"Just thinking. That's all." I smiled.

"About last night?"

"That and something else..." I said shyly.

"What?"

"Every heard of a musician who calls herself REK?" I said.

"Actually, yeah, Odd listens to her. He likes her songs." Yumi replied.

"Let me let you in on a little secret. I'm REK. Rain Ellaina Kamera. I'm the singer/songwriter. That was the job I got. Singing." Yumi's mouth was wide open. "It's OK if you don't believe me."

"No I believe you." Yumi said. "It's just...I'd have never guessed! Wait until Odd finds out. He'll freak! You could be the person who sings for the dances!"

"I guess so..." I said. "I just hope I'm not mobbed by the school's population." I smiled.

"Let's get Aeilta up. Don't want to be late for school." Yumi laughed.

"AELITA GET UP! I'M TO LAZY TO COME GET YOU UP!" I yelled.

"Rain!" I heard two voices shout at me.

"Yes, Aelita, Yumi." I said sweetly.

"For once, can I not wake up to her yelling at me to get up?" I heard Aelita ask.

"Ms. REK get over here and apologize to Aelita!" Yumi shouted.

"REK? As in, the singer?" Aelita perked up.

"Thanks Yumi. Yes, the singer. In the flesh. For I, am REK." I sighed.

"Wow...That's awesome!" Aelita said.

"OK, school starts soon." I said, changing the subject.

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**Odd's POV**

Classes were over for the day, thankfully, and was heading to our usual bench. Everyone was already there, Yumi and Aelita talking very animatively with Rain, who seemed to have a very shy look on her face.

"Hey all. How's everything? Anything new?" I asked.

"Yeah, but first what did the teacher want?" Rain smiled.

"Actually to tell me I was improving in her class. Imagine that." a thoughtful expression crossed my face. "So, what's new?"

"Actually, our little Rain has something to tell you." Yumi nudged Rain.

"Do I have to explain it again?" Rain whined. The others nodded. She sighed, "You know the singer REK?"

I nodded vigorously, "I love her. She's awesome!" I replied. "Why?"

"Because she and I are one in the same." Rain said.

"Really!" I asked excitedly. "That's awesome. That's wow, I have no words for it!"

Rain smiled widely at my enthusiasm, "Yeah. Now I can't let this get out into the school..." She was cut off by Sissi saying quite loudly, "Did you just say that you are actually the singer REK?" Rain flinched, as Sissi caused a lot of people to turn and look at her.

Rain hid her face, "I'm not here. I'm not here." I could hear her muttering under her breath.

"We've having a dance soon," I said changing the topic, "would you like to come with me?"

"Of course. I'd love to." she replied. "I'll probably end up singing though." she added quietly.

"You've got a gift, Rae. You should be proud to share it with the world." I kneeled down beside her.

"I have to go home, my mom needs me tonight." Yumi said.

"We're going to go work on the 'project'."Jeremie said. _The anti-virus, he means._ I thought to myself.

"I'm going to go to soccer practice." Ulrich announced.

When they were out of earshot I turned back to Rain, "You have a wonderful gift. Don't you like to share it?"

"It's not that, Odd..." she trailed off, as a tear slid down her cheek. Without even thinking, I reached up and wiped it away with my thumb. Her cheeks turned a faint pink.

"Then what is it? I only want to help." I said, starting to worry. Why would she be crying?

"It's just, why I had to start the job in the first place." she whispered.

"Why did you have to start?" I asked stroking her cheek softly to dry more tears.

"To support myself. To clothe myself, feed myself..." she buried her face in my shoulder.

"Rain...it's OK. It's all over now. This is your life now, you need not dwell on the past." (**A/N: Odd's sounds like a fortune cookie. O.o)**

Rain brought her eyes to meet mine. The sight broke my heart. Silent tears were still cascading down her cheeks and her eyes held sorrow. I brought her to me in a hug. "Shh... it's OK, Rae, I won't let anything bad happen to you ever again." I whispered. I let her cry on my shoulder. I looked down at her all the while. Finally, she found herself asleep in my arms. _She must've had a really rough day..._ I couldn't help but think. "I won't let anything bad happen to you as long as I'm alive, because I love you." _It's easier to say it when she can't hear you..._ I sighed. "I love you, Rain Kamera."

**A/N:** Awww...a little fluff there for you. I apologize once more for the semi-randomness at the beginning. I'm hyper and random... I still am in a random mood, but I make it fit together...kinda. Anyway, tell me what you think. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, and if you have any ideas, or questions, just put them in your reviews! Anyone who review this chapter gets... brownies! Unless you don't like brownies... then you can have a cookie! That's all I can think of to say so...Until next time! (Psst! Hey you! Person reading the story! That's right, I'm talking to you! Don't forget to review! All you have to do is press that little button that says go, type in some words and then submit! Come on...you know you want to...)


	5. Show times

**A/N: **OK, sorry it took so long for me to update (well, not really _that_ long, but anyways). School, family problems, stuff like that kept me. Anyway, I kinda have writer's block so this probably isn't the best chapter... So yeah, anyway, anyone who reviews gets cookies and their own CL plushie! Character of your choice! So on with the chapter!

Disclaimer: Need I explain again? I DON'T OWN! Except Rain and my songs and my minions... errrrr...Friends yeah, that's what they are.

**Rain's POV**

It had been a week since I'd fallen asleep in Odd's arms. Things were a little...different now. It was like some weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was approached by Principal Delmas, who'd been told of my 'job', and he asked me if I would sing for the upcoming dance. I obliged to his request, and had a week to choose what songs I wanted to perform.

"Hey, Odd, Yumi, Aelita, Jeremie, and Ulrich." I said.

"Hey, Rae!" They replied.

"Have you figured out what songs you're going to do?" Yumi asked.

"Not really, kinda, but not really." I replied.

"Well, it's awesome that you're performing." Ulrich said with a smile.

"Yeah..." I said. Odd wrapped a hand around my shoulders and gave them a reassuring squeeze.

"You ok?" he whispered in my ear. I nodded.

"Rain? I think we started off on the wrong foot-" Sissi started but I cut her off.

"Just because you know that I'm a singer, now you want to try to be friends. That's so shallow, Sissi. If you actually want a friend, you try to become friends with them because you want to be their friend, not because they have money, or they'll bend to your every command, or that they are well know for something. You have no clue what friendship is. I'm just be truthful with you." I said. And I was being truthful. I could see unshed tears in her eyes, I think she finally understood. She walked away slowly, I guess having it begin to sink in.

"I...can't believe you said that." Aelita said.

"She needed someone to , before she got so far in life and didn't have any true friends."

The others nodded.

"Well, I have to go pick out some songs." I waved.

"If you need any help, you know who to find." Yumi said to my retreating back.

"I know!" I shouted ack to her.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

I looked through my song files on my laptop until I was interrupted by a knock on my door.

"Who is it?" I yelled.

"It's Odd and Yumi."

"Come in!" I said.

"How's it coming?" I heard Odd ask as the door opened.

"Fine." I answered as I looked up.

"Good, then you can take a break for food?" Yumi asked.

I chuckled, "Yeah, of course I can." We all laughed and went to eat.

"Are you sure it's edible?" I asked, poking my food with a fork. I wasn't sure what it was though. Odd, on the other hand, was downing it like he'd never eaten before. He nodded.

"I think I'll pass." I said.

"It's not _that_ bad." Yumi said.

"Fine." I muttered. I guess I have to eat _something_.

After we ate we went back to "The Bench", as Odd called it.

"No more sugar for Odd." Yumi muttered as she walked by me.

We sat there and talked about the most random things. Odd, hyped up on sugar...again, asked the most random questions that no one could answer. Like, "What would you do if an endangered animal ate an endangered plant?" and "If a mime swore, would his mom wash his mouth out with soap, or wash his hands?". I guess that's Odd for you.

"I've got to go do something. See y'all later." I said.

I got up and headed towards school. I approached Sissi's room silently and knocked lightly. Sissi came to the door, tears staining her cheeks.

"Have you come to taunt me more, Rain?" she asked quietly, but harshly. I flinched.

"Look, I was just showing you how it was, but I came to see if you were ready for a real friendship." I said.

"Is this some cruel joke? I've already opened my eyes to what you said, and I know it's true, but I don't need you to rub in that you're right."

"Sissi, everyone needs a fresh start. So what do you say?" she saw I was being sincere.

"I'd like that, Rain. I've always wanted to be part of your group, but I thought it was impossible."

"Nothing's impossible. You just gotta believe." I smiled. She smiled back.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

"Are you ready Rain? Are you sure you don't need anything else?" Yumi kept asking.

"Yes, Yumi. I'm all ready to perform. You just have fun, OK?" I asked. Yumi nodded.

"Welcome to the dance, students. For tonight we have a real treat. We have a special guest. The person known as REK to the musical audience!" Mr. Delmas introduced me. The students cheered loudly as I walked out.

"Hello Kadic Junior High!" I said. "My first song, most of you will know!" They cheered as the music started.

"_**I watched from afar**_

_**As you sat and laughed**_

_**Having the time of your life, unlike me**_

_**I wish you could see**_

_**How much I'm hurting tonight**_

_**But you don't**_

_**You live your life with no regrets**_

_**Unlike me, I've been so cautious**_

_**Now I can only dream of smiling**_

_**You don't see me when I'm crying**_

_**But for now I'll let go**_

_**I can't be hurt so much that way**_

_**Your smile, I can't describe it**_

_**If only I could smile too**_

_**You never seemed to notice**_

_**How sad I am tonight**_

_**But I can only dream of that**_

_**For I'm invisible to you now**_

_**You live you life with no regrets**_

_**Unlike me, I've been so cautious**_

_**Now I can only dream of smiling**_

_**You don't see me when I'm crying**_

_**But for now I'll let go**_

_**I can't be hurt so much that way**_

_**Ever since I needed your help**_

_**You only dismissed it**_

_**As much as I want to laugh**_

_**There's no way I can do it now**_

_**I'm falling in deeper**_

_**But you don't seem to notice tonight**_

_**You live you life with no regrets**_

_**Unlike me, I've been so cautious**_

_**Now I can only dream of smiling**_

_**You don't see me when I'm crying**_

_**But for now I'll let go**_

_**I can't be hurt so much that way**_

_**If you could only see**_

_**How much help you could give me**_

_**If you'd only notice I'm alive**_

_**My life could be so much better**_

_**But instead I'm pushed aside**_

_**No life inside tonight**_

_**You live you life with no regrets**_

_**Unlike me, I've been so cautious**_

_**Now I can only dream of smiling**_

_**You don't see me when I'm crying**_

_**But for now I'll let go**_

_**I can't be hurt so much that way**_

_**I'm not hurt so much that way."**_

The students applauded enthusiastically as I ended the song. I could feel a faint blush cross my cheeks. "Thank you! The next song, is almost brand new! So you might not know it so much!"

"_**I dreamt I held you in my arms**_

_**For just a moment everything was perfect**_

_**Then reality crashed upon me**_

_**The cruelest of everything**_

_**Just cause I love you doesn't change a thing**_

_**Unless you say you love me too**_

_**I never really knew what love was until I saw you face**_

_**Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your grace**_

_**Slowly you intoxicate me**_

_**Until I have to leave things up to fate.**_

_**I love you**_

_**But do you love me too?**_

_**Life seems to be a huge lie**_

_**Unless you're with me, by my side**_

_**Things are perfect for a little while**_

_**Until I have to tell you goodbye**_

_**I can't live without you, can't you see?**_

_**You are the one who completes me**_

_**I never really knew what love was until I saw you face**_

_**Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your grace**_

_**Slowly you intoxicate me**_

_**Until I have to leave things up to fate.**_

_**I love you**_

_**But do you love me too?**_

_**Can you see me?**_

_**I'm right in front of your face**_

_**I can't tell what you feel for me**_

_**Sometimes I think I'm invisible to you**_

_**Yet sometimes you see me clear as day**_

_**I love you, but I am afraid**_

_**I never really knew what love was until I saw you face**_

_**Your smile, your eyes, your laugh, your grace**_

_**Slowly you intoxicate me**_

_**Until I have to leave things up to fate.**_

_**I love you**_

_**But do you love me too?**_

_**Do you love me as I love you?"**_

Once again they roared in pleasure as it ended. "So how'd you like it?" They screamed, showing they loved it. I was smiling ear to ear. "The next song I know you all know!"

"_**I saw you sittin' there**_

_**So many things seemed be on your mind**_

_**But you still tried to hide that fact of your indecision**_

_**You couldn't seemed to find what you wanted**_

_**And as I watched**_

_**You just stared blankly ahead**_

_**What are you waiting for**_

_**I know you know I know**_

_**But you can't seem to make up your mind**_

_**You want to tell me something**_

_**But your lips are sealed **_

_**For now I'll give you time**_

_**You fidget with your things**_

_**You try not to catch my eye**_

_**Cause you know you wouldn't and couldn't deny**_

_**Everything you were failing to hide**_

_**Everyone seems to know but you**_

_**That you are lying to yourself right now **_

_**What are you waiting for**_

_**I know you know I know**_

_**But you can't seem to make up your mind**_

_**You want to tell me something**_

_**But your lips are sealed **_

_**For now I'll give you time**_

_**You can't look me in the eyes and lie**_

_**No matter how hard you try to hide**_

_**There's no way you can deny**_

_**The truth is right before your eyes**_

_**Take it or leave it and live your life**_

_**The decision is up to you**_

_**What are you waiting for**_

_**I know you know I know**_

_**But you can't seem to make up your mind**_

_**You want to tell me something**_

_**But your lips are sealed **_

_**For now I'll give you time**_

_**Stop lying to yourself**_

_**I know you know I know**_

_**Say what's on your mind**_

_**Soon you'll be out of time**_

_**Stop lying, no more crying**_

_**JUST SAY WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND**_

_**What are you waiting for?**_

**Sing with me: _What are you waiting for_**

_**I know you know I know**_

_**But you can't seem to make up your mind**_

_**You want to tell me something**_

_**But your lips are sealed **_

_**For now I'll give you time**_

**_I know_** You know**_ I know_**

**_I know _**You know **_I know"_**

**(A/N: **The last two "You know"'s are just the students singing.

"Thank you, Kadic!" I yelled over the din. I heard someone whistle.

"GO RAE!" I made out Yumi's voice yelling, just barely though.

_I love my job when it comes to show times..._

**A/N:** Yep, that's the next chapter. Hope you enjoyed it! Don't forget to review so you can get a CL plushie! Come on...you know you want to push that little button that makes all writers happy! I can't think of anything else to say...


	6. Heartbroken

**A/N:** Hello everybody. --hands out CL plushies to each reviewer -- There ya go! Anyways, here's the next chapter with a bit of a twist and a little angst! MWAHAHAHA -- cough --I'm alright...I swear...sorry, another randomish mood kinda. Now I'm just boring you with my words but you have to keep reading to see what you get for reviewing. HAHA, that's my evil plan! OK, maybe not, but anyways, for this chapter if you review...you get... a bottle of silly string, a Kiwi stuffed animal plushie thing, and some homemade cookies! Chocolate chips and sugar cookies for all! Now on with the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: ...I thought we went over this...I. Do. Not. Own. Code. Lyoko. I wish I did though. But Rain IS mine, and so are any songs unless I say I don't. Now on with the chapter!

**Learning to Love**

**Rain's POV**

I waved once more to the audience before walking off stage. Suddenly, the lights flickered on and off several times. I looked at Yumi, who shrugged, then I looked to Odd, who was...kissing Sissi! I looked back at Yumi, who was now no where to be seen. I ran out of the gym, where the gym was being held, and to the forest. There I glimpsed Yumi, Aelita, Ulrich, and Jeremie running as well. They didn't notice me and I only caught a couple words. They sounded like, "possessed", "XANA", "focused on", and "Rain". Then a "But why Rain?" and that was it. I heard running behind me and I was suddenly jolted to the ground. I turned to see my aggressor.

"Odd?" I found my voice. I found myself in the air moments later being tortured by...was that electricity? A screamed escaped my lips.

"RAIN!" I heard Yumi yell. "Get to the factory you two, she needs help!" I faintly heard her say. I found myself back on the ground a minute later.

"What's wrong with Odd?" I gasped out.

"He's possessed by XANA. XANA is a computer virus who's trying to take over the world or what ever. Our group are the one's who stop him is his task. We deactivate his attacks on earth and basically save the world. But then we return to the past, so no one knows that we do this. You shouldn't either." She said taking a few breaks to protect us both from Odd. "I don't know why he's aimed the attack at you." Odd froze and then collapsed. "They've deactivated XANA, now we return to the past." Yumi said.

I found myself back on the stage waving to the crowd. I came off the stage and looked at Odd. I ran out of the gym, him kissing Sissi playing over and over again. I ran to my dorm, locked the door, and turned my stereo full blast. I heard a knock.

"Go away Yumi." I said over my music.

"How'd you know it was me?" I heard her question.

"You're the only one who would realize something was wrong." I sighed.

"Well, can I come in?"

"No, try back later, maybe I'm be more socially inclined." I said.

"OK." she said dejectedly.

I needed to collect myself before anyone came near me. There was something I hadn't told Yumi.

_Flashback_

_I looked up into the cruel eyes of my father that, unfortunately I had inherited. I hugged momma closer, though there was nothing I could do to bring her back. "Why, daddy? Why did you kill mommy?" the coldness in my voice startled me._

"_Because I don't love her, I never did, and she was clinging to me like a leech. She made me absolutely sick. I was sick and tired of her thinking I loved her. Besides, she saw me hurt you, what do you think I would've done? Let her call the police?" he sneered._

"_But you said you loved her. You said it everyday before she went to work. You said no matter what you'd love her."_

"_Dear child, I lied, I never loved your mother, I was in this for the money. It was all a game, to mess with your mother's head. For I despised your mother, yet she was too blind to see it. She thought I loved her. But she was wrong. Dead wrong._"

"_You killed them both. You killed her and her unborn girl!" I grew outraged. "I HATE YOU!" I screamed. Without second thought, he turned and left me there, crying over my mom._

"_I hate you, father..." I cried. "I hate you..."_

I felt tears prick my eyes. I hadn't told anyone that she was with-child. It was too painful. I gave up on not crying and soon found myself sobbing. I heard a knock on the door.

"Rae, let us in." I heard Odd say.

"Who's we?" I heard my voice crack to due my crying. I forced myself to stop crying.

"Yumi and I." Odd answered. "You know what, I'm just going to pick this lock, if you want us in or if you don't." I faintly heard the lock click over the music, but the song was just ending. I turned away.

_I never loved your mother..._

I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I refused to turn.

"Rae, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." I said quietly.

"Then look at me." Odd said. I couldn't bring myself to. "Rain...please?"

_I hate you..._

I looked at him, but I couldn't look him in the eyes. Unconsciously, I started to rub my shoulder where it would be forever scarred.

"What's wrong?" he asked again.

"Odd, could I talk to her for a moment?" Yumi asked.

_I despised your mother..._

Odd nodded before walking out. "Rain, what's wrong? You were so happy on the stage, but now your so...sad. Is that the shoulder that he..." she trailed off. Instantly I pulled away my hand, but gave a short nod.

_You killed them both..._

I couldn't take it anymore, I started crying again, fresh tears falling down the path the earlier one's had created. I buried my face in my hands. The pain of what my dad did, and the pain of seeing Odd kiss Sissi wouldn't leave me alone. Was it really the XANA attack that made him kiss her? Or did he really like her?

_It was all just a game..._

"Rain, please tell me what's wrong?" Did she realize I remembered? I guess not, she said I wasn't supposed to, so why do I?

"I don't even know what happened, Yumi. I'm serious about it. I don't know what happened, it's like one minute I'm there, the next I'm back where I started." She looked at me confused, I could tell she didn't catch the hint.

"What do you mean, Rae?"

"I know something I'm not supposed to know..." I gave her another clue.

"That's not helping me understand. Just say it."

"Fine. I remember what I'm not supposed to remember cause we returned to the past or whatever you said." Yumi froze. I freaked, was this a bad thing? "I'm joking, I had a dream about something like that." I lied. She seemed to sense it too.

"You don't just dream that type of stuff, Rae. XANA had a reason to target you. I think Lyoko chose you as a part of the team. But what's wrong? Or what did XANA do while he possessed Odd?"

_Why, daddy? Why did you kill mommy..._

"It's not just that...it's something that I conveniently left out of that night when it happened. It's a big reason why I'm scared of love..." I trailed off. It was like my mouth had a mind of it's own.

"What happened, Rae?" she asked worriedly.

"To sum it up, he said that it was all a game to mess with momma's head, and that he never loved her." I gave the less painful cliff notes version.

_She was wrong. Dead wrong..._

"What if Odd doesn't really like me, and he's just playing a game with me, only to discard me when he's done with me?"

"That's the most absurd thing I've ever heard you say! Rain, Odd likes you... _a lot._"

"But what if he's lying?"

"What did XANA do?"

"I don't even know if it was XANA's doing...but...OddkissedSissi." I said quickly.

_I hate you, father...I hate you..._

"Come again." Yumi requested.

"Odd kissed Sissi." I said slower.

"He would nev-" Yumi started, but I cut her off.

"And it broken my heart, shattered it to pieces." Yumi gave me a one armed hug.

"I'm heartbroken."

**A/N:** And there you have it! The next chapter! XANA's in the picture and Rain's confused even more. Did XANA make Odd kiss Sissi? Or was it Odd's doing? Guess you'll find out soon enough. If you have any ideas just put them in your review! Questions, comments, anything? Put them in your review! Just one more reason to review! Come on...you know you want to! But review, cause I know you want to, so stop lying to yourself and press the little button! If I told you that the world would blow up if you pressed it...would you? ( Go to www. wimp . com / press if you want to understand the joke behind that. ) Until next time!


	7. I Can't Lose You

**A/N:** I am sooooooooooo so so so so sorry that it took soooooooooo long to update! I know that it took forever, but I have writers block, so this probably sucks, plain and simple. OK, reviewers get...CAKE! And...a limited edition copy of the first season of Code Lyoko! And an Odd Plushie! So enjoy, though it's not that good. Darn writer's block...

Disclaimer:

Yumi: She does not own Code Lyoko! Plain and simple, she's poor and you wouldn't get a penny if you sued.

Me: Gee, Thanks...

Yumi: No Problem!

**Learning to Love**

**Yumi's POV**

"Rain, XANA...has a way with messing with you. It's all a cruel joke with no mercy. Odd would never do that."

"But how can you be sure?" she looked so defeated.

"I talk to him a lot, cause he's like a brother, like you're my sister. And by what he's told me, he would never, repeat never-"

"Never." she said. I rolled my eyes.

"Never do that to you." _Because he loves you._ I wanted to say. He'd told me he loved her, but from what I'm hearing, he hasn't told her yet. Rain nodded that she understood.

"I just can't get it out of my head." she sighed frustrated.

"That reminds me, we need to tell Jer that you remember. Cause...well he's Jeremie and he needs to know. Come on." I helped her up. And we headed to find Jeremie who was, as I predicted, in his room.

"Jer, we need to talk." I said when he opened the door. I ushered Rain in and we sat on his bed, while he took his chair.

"So, how can I assist you two?"

"It's about Lyoko, and XANA-"

"Yumi! Rain's right there!"

"-And how Rain remembers what happened even though we returned to the past."

"What? No, that's not right...she should...it doesn't add up...call the others. We're having a group meeting." Jeremie finally formed a sentence. I nodded and grabbed my phone.

"Ulrich, is Odd and 'Lita with you?"

"Yeah..."

"Good, cause Jeremie's calling a group meeting."

"OK. Right now?"

"Mmhmm, see you in a few."

"Bye."

"They're on their way." I turned to Rain and Jeremie, Jeremie was staring off in space, and Rain looked like her fight-or-flight were closer to flight then fight.

"Good..." Jeremie said absentmindedly, obviously deep in thought.

A few minutes pasted as we waited, Rain tapping her foot to music only she could hear, Jeremie still thinking. A knock took Jeremie out of his trance and startled Rain, causing her to jump.

"It's open." Jeremie said.

"What's up Jer? A XANA att-" Ulrich stopped when he spotted Rain.

"It's OK Ulrich." Rain said softly, "I already know." The others looked like fish out of water. "And now that has been said...I'll just be going..." Rain said uneasily as she stood to leave.

"Rain..." I said in a 'don't-you-leave' tone.

"Yes, ma'am!" she sat down immediately, startling all of us. She looked a little fearful.

"Rain?" Odd asked confused.

"Nothing!" she said quickly.

"She remembers what happened before the return trip." I said intent on changing the subject.

"What do you remember?" Jeremie asked.

"Odd...kissed Sissi, attacked me in the forest, Yumi helped me out and explained what was happening...the only thing is, I remember what I'm not supposed to, cause she said I wasn't going to remember anything...but I did..." she said.

"Oh my God, Rain, I kissed Sissi? Are you OK? Did it hurt you? Are you OK? Wait, I attacked you too! Did I hurt you? I-"

"ODD!" I said loudly. "It's not your fault. XANA had you and...wait...how was XANA able to possess you? You've been to Lyoko...he got stronger didn't he?" I turned to Jeremie. Odd had come over and wrapped Rain in an embrace and kept telling her he was sorry.

"I guess he has...we've had to use the Return program cause of the damage, but that still makes him stronger." Jeremie said. "But she remembers the whole attack...Unless Lyoko has chosen her as a warrior... which I don't know if that's possible, then something's wrong with the Return program."

"Well, I think that's possible..." Aelita said, "since all of you are warriors."

"Maybe you should scan her." Ulrich suggested.

"I think I should, to make sure XANA didn't infect her with anything..." Jeremie said.

**Rain's POV**

"Scan me?" was all I could say, Odd was practically suffocating me in a hug and he kept saying how sorry he was. "I forgive you Odd, can I breathe now?" I whispered so only he could hear.

"I'll show you when we get to the factory." Jeremie replied. I was led to an old abandoned factory. I gave Yumi a questioning look.

"Just wait, you'll understand soon." was all she said. We went into an elevator and I began to feel impatient. I started tapping my foot. Finally the elevator slowed to a stop. Jeremie got off and we went down more. "Just step into here." I was directed. I stepped in and it closed. Air surrounded me as I closed my eyes. Soon the air stopped and the doors opened to the... what had they called it? Oh yea, scanner. We headed back up to where Jer was.

"I didn't detect anything..." he said.

"Is that good...or bad?" I questioned.

"Wait, there is something here..." Jeremie trailed off.

"But that doesn't explain how you know..." Aelita started before she heard what Jeremie said. "What did you find?"

"This isn't good... XANA's implanted something into you. He took something and replaced it...but what?"

"What did he-" I blinked.

"Rain?"

**Odd's POV**

"Rain?" I repeated once more. I put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped.

"Huh? Who are you? Where am I? Who am I..." she said quickly.

We all looked at Jeremie, "He's messed with her memories, what she remembers, and he implanted something that will..." he stopped. I was starting to panic.

"That will what Jeremie!" I struggled to keep my voice down.

"That will kill her slowly, unless I find an anti-virus..."

"He'll kill her, and then kill me emotionally, all of us emotionally..." I finished. I couldn't bare to lose her.

"Rain?"

"Is that my name?" she asked.

"Yes, and-" I couldn't take it, my knees hit the floor, tears sprang from my eyes. This couldn't be happening...No not again, I can't lose her., I can't lose anyone else.

_Flashback_

"_Mama? Mama what's happening?" I asked._

_A sad smile graced her lips, her eyes glistening with tears, "Odd, you know Daddy and Gram loved you very much right?"_

"_Of course Mama. What's wrong?" I was panicking._

"_Daddy and Gram are gone sweetie. In a car crash." I felt tears fall from my eyes, then I realized that I was not crying alone, the clouds were grieving with me, and Mama had broken down too. _

"_Mama, do you mean I'll never see them again?" I cried._

"_Only in your dreams my child, only in your dreams..."_

"Are-are you sure?" I heard the words escape my lips, the same words I'd said when I was eight, _only in your dreams_... the words echoed in my head. I can't lose her. I can't lose someone else, no one else that I love.

"Yes, Odd, I'm afraid so..." Jeremie replied. Rain kneeled beside me.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"I can't lose you, Rain. I can't lose you!" I said, as I started to cry. I hadn't cried since that day. _I love you, I can't lose you..._

**A/N:** There you go, probably the suckiest update ever, and I don't care if that's a word or not. Yep, that's the chapter, poorly written in my opinion, but I always was pessimistic... So please review with feedback and ideas! Ideas are helpful! Thanks to all my reviewers! Until next time!


	8. I Am

**A/N:** I'm am extremely sorry for how long this took. One thing is I totally rewrote this chapter with a way better plot line or whatever. A lot better. It's a lot better, I promise, and can give me a lot more things to write about, all those who waited patiently, thank you for being loyal readers, I thank you all. And now I give you the next chapter!

**Disclaimer:** I do not own anything but the plot and Rain and all the songs written by me. The song in this chapter is by Kelly Clarkson: Because of You. Not Mine. Nor is Code: Lyoko. Thank you and lets move on with the story!

**Odd's POV**

I looked over at Rain, who was beside me. Even through my tears, I could still see her beautiful face. Her face reflected pure confusion.

"Rain..." I whispered. I reached over and drew her into a tight hug. I looked into her eyes and didn't realize how close we'd gotten until my lips were touching hers. Everything after that was blurred by the absolute bliss I experienced. When my eyes opened, I saw Rain's eyes. Her soft blue eyes. They slowly closed, and she fell into my arms unconscious. I cradled her close.

"Odd, when are you gonna tell her?" Yumi said quietly. "She worried you're playing a game with her head, because that's what happened to her mom..."

"She hasn't told me about her past..." I trailed off.

"Because I have no right to tell you."

"But-"

"Drop it Odd. She is right, and you know it. She doesn't have the right to tell a secret. Nor lie about the secret, therefore, she can only say she knows the secret, and that's it. Please don't push her, and don't push me to tell you, for only will time be able to give me the strength." The girl in my arms looked up at me and then looked to the others. "What?" she asked defensively.

"You're supposed to be dying..." Jeremie put it bluntly.

"Well, gee, I'm sorry. Would you like me to go die now?" she said.

"NO!" I immediately said.

"Sorry Odd, I.. I didn't mean it." she looked fearful.

"What are you so afraid of Rain? You look so fragile and meek." I asked softly. I pulled her into a tight hug.

"Well, I know the anti-virus." Jeremie said. "Love." I felt Rain stiffen from the word. I brought her face so our eyes met.

"Rain... please tell me what happened."My eyes pleaded with hers. Her eyes began to glisten, "Please don't cry..." We both didn't notice the others retreating to give us some alone time, until we heard the elevator doors close. I turned my attention back to the now crying girl in front of me. She shivered. "Rain, please, at least tell me something."

"I... I'm scared of love, Odd. Because of my dad... He... he... Odd... He killed... HE KILLED MY MOM AND UNBORN SISTER!" I shouted in agony, tears now freely streaming down my face.

_**I will not make the same mistakes that you did  
I will not let myself  
Cause my heart so much miseryI will not break the way you did,  
You fell so hard  
I've learned the hard way  
To never let it get that far  
**_

I said speechless. No wonder she was so scared.

"I saw it happen too... Pinned to the wall... eyes wide in fright..." she rambled on.

I pulled her into a tight hug, "Rain..."

"You don't need to say anything Odd. All you did was show me love, and all I did was fear it. I'm not worthy of your time..."

"Rain Ellaina Kamera, don't ever think that again. You are worthy of my time. I... IloveyouRain." I said quickly.

_**Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid  
**_

"Uh, could you say that a little slower?" She said confused.

I took a deep breath, "I Love You, Rain Kamera." (**A/N:** About time, eh?)

She looked so timid, "You... you do? Really? You're not lying?"

"Rain, I would never lie about this. I really do. I'm not like your father."

"No one's ever told me they loved me since my mommy died..."

"I love you." she blushed as I said it again.

_**I lose my way  
And it's not too long before you point it out  
I cannot cry  
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes  
I'm forced to fake  
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life  
My heart can't possibly break  
When it wasn't even whole to start with  
**_

**Rain's POV**

I had long before this stopped crying, I hated crying, but I tend to so often... I'm so fragile. "Odd... I... I really don't know... what love feels like... but... I think I'm falling for you." I said a bit shakily, this was really hard to say. He smiled so widely, which made me smile softly in return. He pulled me into a tight hug. "Odd. I need... to _breathe_!" I laughed.

"Sorry."

"Don't 'sorry' me Odd Della Robia. You didn't mean to." He smiled at my attempt at a strict voice.

"You could never be a teacher." He said still laughing.

"And why not?" I asked.

"You're too nice."

"Oh, really?" I said icily. He raised his eyebrow.

"Ok, you're right." I rolled my eyes.

_**Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me  
Because of you  
I am afraid  
**_

"That means I have full rights too... tickle you!" He laughed as he tackled me to tickle me. I laughed so hard... how could I not, course a couple, "ODD! STOP!"'s were added in, but it'd been so long since I last really laughed, I'd almost forgotten how.

_**I watched you die  
I heard you cry every night in your sleep  
I was so young  
You should have known better than to lean on me  
You never thought of anyone else  
You just saw your pain  
And now I cry in the middle of the night  
For the same damn thing  
**_

Everything was perfect until, I heard his voice, in my mind. I whimpered and Odd noticed it. "What's wrong Rain?"

"He's in my mind... he's everywhere. Odd, please, make him go away..." I became frantic. He was in my heart... my mind! I heard his thoughts... I heard it all... everything... What's happening to me! Odd hugged me tightly.

"Shhhh... it's ok."

"No it's not. They come and they go, yet they still search, and they will not stop until they have taken back what they feel is their's. He will not stop. We're all in danger. _He_ is coming."

"He? Who is He?"

"I cannot tell you, for I only catch glimpses of what will come, and what can be."

"Rain... are you... physic?"

"I... I don't know."

"We need to get Jeremie in here now."

"It will do no good. I cannot be helped. He hurt me, he played with my mind and left me to die. And now he's back. He's back to get me, and everyone else. Yet, we fear him, because we do not know."

**_Because of you  
I never stray too far from the sidewalk  
Because of you  
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt  
Because of you  
I try my hardest just to forget everything  
Because of you  
I don't know how to let anyone else in  
Because of you  
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty  
Because of you  
I am afraid _**

Because of you  
Because of you

"We fear him, but he was once a man too, with sins of the flesh. He desired more, immortality and power. He became who we now fear. He became the one we call XANA, this man of the flesh. He gave up his flesh, for it was imperfect. He gave up his name, for he felt it was not strong enough for people to fear. Now he haunts us like a nightmare, hunts us like game. We've no where to run, no where to hide. He gave me this gift, this burden. I fear... I fear we don't have much time. We must tell the others... and you must all flee from me."

"But why Rain?"

"I am his daughter."

**A/N: Twist! Yea, you might find this a little bit stranger then the rest but hey! This is what happens from lack of sleep! I hope you like it! Please review because it gives me reasons to write faster! So... This time you'll get an Ulrich plushie doll thingy, a piece of cake and the newest edition to the line of collectors items, the barking Kiwi plushie! Enjoy and remember, review! You know you want to! Once again I must apologize for the wait. My sincerest apologies. Hope this chapter is good enough for y'all. Until next time! **


	9. To Kill Me

**A/N:** Ok, I wrote this as quickly as possible because, I'm in one of my writing moods where I can't seem to stop. Thank you to all my reviewers, I love you all! And the cake was... well whatever you're favorite cake is! That works. Ok, well, I'll let y'all read the story now.

**Disclaimer: **I Don't Own Anything But My Songs and My Character(s) and Plot Ideas. You CAN Use the Songs With My Permission. Unless They Aren't Mine. On with the Story!

**Rain's POV**

"But, Rain, how is that even possible!" Odd asked.

"He was once a man, his name, Xavier Kamera. He gave up his name when he became what he thinks is immortal. He can take control of me. You cannot stay, not with me. It's dangerous, you should all fear me. Do not stay near. Do not come close..."

"No, Rain, I will not leave you." Odd said strictly.

"But you must! It's for you're safety! Odd, don't. Please."

"No! It's not you're fault! We'll... we'll find some way to help you. Rain, we're not gonna abandon you."

"Odd, just do it! Forget me, forget you're feelings and get out! It's for your safety, and the safely of all the others. Please Odd, I don't want you to be hurt." I pleaded.

"That's not your choice Rain. I've put myself in harms way, plenty of times. And I'm not just gonna forget about you, or how I feel. I'm staying and you can't stop me." Odd said with a determined look. I sighed dejectedly.

"Who am I to try to stop you?" I said defeated.

_**I tried to tell you**_

_**You never listened**_

_**You just tuned me out**_

_**You can't say that I never tried**_

_**To tell you why**_

_**Make you say goodbye**_

"Rain, look at me. The whole gang is going to stick behind you, whether your XANA's daughter or not."

"He worked with Franz Hopper. Hopper offered him this chance. He was the first to ever set foot on Lyoko. He made himself who he is now. Hopper locked him in the super computer, once he figured out it was Xavier who was attacking."

"We need to tell the others."

"That we do, maybe they'll talk some sense into you."

_**Cause I, am indecision**_

_**I am fear tonight**_

_**I'm everything gone wrong**_

_**And I, am failure, I'm submission**_

_**I'm every emotion **_

_**That your mind can't fathom...**_

"Rain, they're going to side with me."

"Why are you putting me before your safety! Don't you understand how dangerous it is to be around me!" I cried.

"Do the words "I Love You, Rain Kamera' not tell you something?"

"But... I... what... why?" I still couldn't understand him.

"Why what Rain? Why do I love you? Or-"

"Why you care about me, at all. Even before you knew I was famous. Before you never that my father abused me."

"Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! You mentioned he killed your mom and unborn sister, but nothing about him abusing you!"

"Oh..." was all I could say as I looked at the outraged Odd before me. He must've noticed fear in my eyes, for his composure softened.

_**You looked at me **_

_**But you wouldn't admit I was right**_

_**Since you never listened to me**_

_**You never could see**_

_**Everything I tried to show you**_

_**And how true it was**_

"Rain, please, tell me a bit more, so I understand." He asked. I shivered.

"Emotional, physical, neglect. You know how I was pinned to the wall?" I pulled my sleeve down to expose the scarred flesh. "A knife, Odd, pinned by a knife. If that ain't abuse, I don't know what is!" He pulled me into a tight embrace.

"He will never hurt you again if I have a say in it."

"But you don't." I whispered to myself.

"Let's get the others, and tell them."

"Odd, please for the last time. Don't stay with me." I said pleading. He answered me this time with a kiss on the cheek.

_**Cause I, am indecision**_

_**I am fear tonight**_

_**I'm everything gone wrong**_

_**And I, am failure, I'm submission**_

_**I'm every emotion **_

_**That your mind can't fathom...**_

He lead me to the door and we both stepped in the elevator. We met the others by the ropes. I'm sure my face looked grim as the others completely stopped everything they were doing and turned to us.

"Something wrong?" Jeremie asked.

"I think Rain's a physic, or something of the sort." Odd spoke.

"But, that doesn't explain why you both look so serious." Yumi said next.

"His name was originally Xavier. Xavier Kamera. He took his Human DNA code, and totally slashed it. No way to return, no longer human. Locked away in a computer, he thought he plan would never come to be. But they did, he was able to start his attacks. He felt no more, for he thought he was invincible. Thought."

"Wait, is this XANA we're talking about?" Ulrich perked up.

"He got stronger and stronger, he destroyed his real name, and became know as XANA. Of course, before all this happened, he impregnated a girl, a wealthy girl, who decided to marry him so her daughter had a father. But he turned on both of them, all of them, for the mother was with-child again. The mother and unborn child were murdered, the other left to die."

_**You saw the tears**_

_**You saw my fears**_

_**And you feared, I would leave you**_

_**How can you love me**_

_**How can you trust me**_

_**When I can't even trust myself**_

"But she didn't..." Yumi said. "She lived in the Kamera Mansion until she got enough money to go to Kadic."

"That's means..." Aelita trailed off.

"I'm XANA's daughter." I finished. "Which is why you all should cease all contact with me. Leave me... Course Odd wouldn't listen."

"Oh, don't start with this again." Odd groaned.

_**Cause I, am indecision**_

_**I am fear tonight**_

_**I'm everything gone wrong**_

_**And I, am failure, I'm submission**_

_**I'm every emotion **_

_**That your mind can't fathom...**_

"I'm with Odd on this one, Rae." Yumi said, even though she was still processing the new information.

"No, you two. She's right." Jeremie commanded.

"Jeremie! How can you just abandon her!" Yumi said bewildered.

"How can I not? She's the enemy-"

"SHE IS NOT! Just because her father is XANA, that doesn't mean she is the enemy. It's not her fault. She's on our side!" Odd shouted at Jeremie.

"She's our friend, and we shall not abandon her." Aelita spoke quietly.

"No! Don't you see, you'll all be safer without me." I spoke out.

"Rain, we are not going to desert you whether you want it or not. We are you're friends and we're not leaving your side because it's not your fault." Yumi said.

"You don't understand at all! You can't be attached to me, you have to grow away!"

"But why Rae?" Ulrich spoke.

"Because right now, there is only one way I know of to defeat him."

"You know how to defeat XANA?" Jeremie looked shocked.

"You all aren't gonna like it..." I hesitated.

_**And I am indecision**_

_**I am fear tonight**_

_**I'm everything gone wrong**_

_**And I'm bi-polar, I'm antisocial **_

_**I am all alone**_

_**I'm confusion**_

_**And I, am failure, I'm submission**_

_**I'm everything you thought you knew but didn't**_

_**I'm every emotion**_

_**I'm, who I am**_

_**And I can't change who I am**_

"Tell us Rain." Odd said.

"The reason I want y'all to grow away from me is because the only way that I know to defeat him, and, because he placed it inside me, the only way... Is to kill me."

**A/N:** How will the gang get by this curve ball? Guess you'll wait and find out won't you. Well, I hope you all enjoyed that! This time you all get a Yumi plushie, and the newest collector's item, the talking Odd plushie! And you can visit the ice cream sundae table and make a sundae! But that is **_ONLY IF YOU REVIEW!_** So what are you waiting for? Press the pretty button! That's all I can think of! Until next time!


	10. The End

**A/N:** This time I'm being smart and have my email opened as well, to see the reviews. First off, the fantabulous:** purplelover**, thanks for complimenting the song. Jeremie is evil, but sadly, I can see him doing that. I'm trying to update quickly for y'all. You've reviewed every chapter but the first, but you're still awesome. Next, the ever-so-awesome: **StrugglingArtist**! You most certainly can use the song! I'm extremely glad you loved the song. You were my second ever reviewer, but you've stuck with me and you've reviewed every chapter! You're awesome! **divinedragon7**, you've been with me since the beginning as well. I thank you for that, for you help motivate me. **Frog Disease**, that is a good question, I still haven't decided, so I guess I'll take y'alls input, what do y'all think? Vote in your reviews. And I'll figure out what I'll do.

**Rain's POV**

"No." Odd said. "No, no, no, no, and NO! There is NO WAY you're going to die, so help me God!" Odd continued.

"Told ya you wouldn't like it." I mumbled.

"Actually..." Jeremie started.

Yumi shouted obscenities at him in Japanese, "If you dare try to side with killing her, I will kill **_you_**!"

"No, I was just gonna say that it makes no sense. He tried to kill her-"

"It may seem illogical to a mere person's brain, but it isn't so. He wasn't trying to kill me. He wanted to weaken me, so he could mold me into one of his mindless drones." I laughed mirthlessly. "My memory was targeted so that I'd forget y'all, so I wouldn't mind hurting y'all."

"See! I told you she was the enemy!"

"We're not going through this again, Jeremie. It's XANA who's the enemy, he's to blame, and he's trying to possess her." Ulrich said calmly.

**Aelita's POV**

They were all arguing, but I noticed a change in Rain's composure. She became more withdrawn. I turned my attention back to those who were arguing. Jeremie, Ulrich, Yumi, and Odd. Three against one. I sighed and looked back to where Rain was just moments ago.

"Rain?" I said. She wasn't there anymore. The others stopped when they heard the worry in my tone. There was a note in her place. A quickly scribbled note from her. I ran over to it.

"You can't change my mind if you can't make up your own. Goodbye, it's for the best my friends. I'm sorry, but it must be done. I Love You, Odd, and those who I consider family, I love you too. Goodbye." I read aloud. I ran out, I knew where she would head first. _The dorms_, I ran out before the others could react. She had a dagger hanging on her wall, and I knew she would use that first, before she tried anything else.

"Rain Ellaina Kamera! Put that weapon down." I shouted as I burst into her room. She looked at me, dagger still in her hand. A strange look in her eyes.

"Aelita, dearest Aelita, I must, for there is no other way. I must die for you and the others to survive, or have a chance at surviving. I am only a danger. If I am gone, my father won't be long after me, and you'll be free. Such a lovely weapon this is though. The blade, if it catches the light, it gleams with rainbow colors. Swirls and such."

"Rain, stop, this isn't you. This is an insane attempt at... something like honor. I'm not sure, but you're trying to protect us, but we're not gonna let you. Don't you see?" I said. Her eyes went back to their normal look.

"It's you who doesn't see Aelita... I must die."

"No." I said firmly. "Now put the dagger down." She dropped it. But then she ran out. "RAIN!" I yelled after her. I sought after her and found her on the bridge of the factory. _Oh God, she's gonna jump!_ "ODD, YUMI, JEREMIE, ULRICH, SOMEONE!" I screamed.

"What is it? Did you find her?" I heard someone shout back.

"Rain, you don't have to do this. There must be another way. You must not be better yet, you're talking crazy." I tried to reason with her. The others finally came out and saw Rain contemplating whether or not to jump into the frigid water, to her death.

"Rain, if you jump, I'll jump too." Odd said.

"No, Odd, they need you here. There will be an aftermath, and you will need to be here to help."

"Rain. Do not jump."

"I must."

"You mustn't."

"Yes I must."

"You mustn't."

"I must."

"You mustn't."

"Odd Della Robia, **_yes_** I **_must_**."

"Rain Kamera, **_no _**you **_mustn't_**." Odd sighed. "Rain, Descendre maintenant ou dormir éternellement. Il est jusqu'à toi." (Translation: Come down now or sleep eternally. It is up to you.) Rain shook her head mournfully.

"Non. Il doit être fait. Pour vous protéger tout. Ne comprenez-vous pas?" (No. It must be done. To protect you. Don't you understand?)

"Il ne doit pas être fait. Aucune de ceci ne doit se produire. Vous ne devez pas mourir. Pas maintenant, bien?" Odd said exasperated. (It doesn't have to be done. None of this has to happen. You don't have to die. Not now, ok?)

"Alors comment pourrons-nous le défaire, pour le banir de la terre dans laquelle nous demeurons? Je dois, de sorte que vous puissiez défaire XANA une fois pour toutes." Rain stepped closer to the edge of the bridge. (Then how will we be able to defeat him, to banish him from the land in which we dwell? I must, so that you can defeat XANA once and for all.)

"Would you two please stop talking in French. It's exasperating, since I'm not too great at it." Yumi asked. I chuckled slightly at the sight though there was nothing that funny. But I had to to relieve my stress and frustration.

"We will find another way, Rain, and we won't stop until we do!" Ulrich said firmly.

"But-" Rain started.

"No 'butt's. No 'if's, 'and's, 'or's, anything." Yumi stated. Rain took another step back, but this time she didn't realize how close she was.

"Rain, NO!" Odd ran and tried to catch her air, but he didn't expect to be pulled down so quickly by her weight. He was pulled over the edge as well as her.

"Rain, Odd!" I yelled after I ran to the edge. Odd pulled Rain into a tight hug in the air, probably because he knew it'd be freezing once they hit the water. It all seemed to be happening in slow motion. I didn't even notice that Jeremie wasn't there with us. Ulrich was on his cell doing only God knows what. Yumi was looking down at the two falling, her face reflecting horror. I'm sure my face looked like hers. Suddenly everything was engulfed in the white light that was the return trip.

Yumi shouted obscenities at Jeremie in Japanese, "If you dare try to side with killing her, I will kill **_you_**!" She had a puzzled look on her face, "What are we doing back here? Did we- Did you- Did XANA take over the return trips again?"

"No, Yumi, See Ulrich called me and told me that Rain slipped off and Odd went after, and he told me that we needed a return trip. I was here the whole time just incase we did." Jeremie explained. "I may have been ready to let go of the friendship, but not for her to die."

"I wasn't ready for either, so I told Jeremie this plan." Ulrich said.

"Well, it saved them." Yumi pointed to Odd and Rain. We then realized that Rain was curled up in a ball rocking back in forth. "Rain?"

"You saved Odd, but you have yet to save me, for I cannot be saved. He will find me, where ever I go, and he will find a way to hurt me, without killing me." she barely spoke.

"Rain, that is a lie. He's threatening you, so that you will fear him, therefore he will have more control over you and your actions. I sense it." I said, kneeling beside the frightened girl. "We'll be here for you and we'll be with you, until the end."

**A/N:** We'll, it's kinda short and possibly a little rushed, but it's here, and I guess that's what counts... right? Anyways, I got creative and used some french... by way of google translator, because I do not know french ;.; But I hope y'all enjoyed it, so tell me what you think. Should I kill Rain off? Or shall she live? Your vote's shall help me decide! Reviewers get the special Aelita plushie! And yummy sugar cookies! But **_only_** if you **_REVIEW!_** I ♥ my reviwers! Until next time!


	11. This Can't be Good

**A/N:** hides behind something solid Don't kill me! I know it's been awhile and I am truly and completely sorry!! I was kinda outta ideas and I didn't know where I wanted to take this. My email has been mean so I haven't been able to reply to any emails sent. I'd like to take a moment to thank my lovely reviewer. So thank you all. This is kinda a filler chapter, and I'm sorry for the delay.

Disclaimer: I have no money, so it'd do no good to sue me... plus I don't own any of the characters except Rain or any others that I created. Now on with the story...

**Rain's POV**

"The end? The end of what exactly? The end of me?" I asked, trying to keep a tremble from my voice. Why couldn't they just let me die? It would've been easier... on them... and me.

"Rain, we realize that you just wanted to protect us. We realize that you think there's no other way. But that's what's holding us back. Our fear that we'll lose you. We have to find another way, and we won't stop until we do!" Yumi said firmly.

"I realize I have no choice but to succumb to your request. Think about it though; what am I but a grain of salt in the desert. There's a much bigger cause, a reason, one we don't know about. We can't play God!" I shook my head trying to clear the sorrow that filled it.

"You can't play God either! Whether you realize it or not, that's what you were doing. You can't kill yourself! If you were meant to die, you would!" Odd shouted, his tone filled with agony. "You're stronger then this Rae. Don't let him get to you like this."

I flinched. He was right, I realized. I bowed my head, "I"m sorry..." I stood from where I was sitting. "I guess I haven't been myself since XANA attacked me. I guess it just... made me realize how much of a threat to y'all I can be. I just don't want you all to be in danger... because of me."

"We realize that. This is what conclusions we've drawn. One: We will not let you kill yourself. Two: We will not abandon you. Three: We will find an alternate way to get rid of XANA. Four: Rain is not allowed weapons. Five: Rain is not allowed to try and be honorable and heroic in a stupid manner. Meaning, you cannot kill yourself. Do we have that part clear?" Odd smiled.

"Aww, no weapons? How on earth will I survive?" Rain feigned terror.

"There, that's a bit more like the Rae I know and love." Odd smiled, a look of relief crossed his face.

"I'm sorry I worried y'all like that. I promise I won't do anything stupid." I smiled slightly. "Or at least I won't do anything Odd wouldn't do."

"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" Odd asked defensively. I just stuck my tongue out at him.

"Yep, she's back to normal Rain now. Let's hope she stays back though." Yumi muttered the last part.

I smiled, but I still had a feeling of dread that had followed me since early childhood. It was the reason I tended to look distant and sad... I guess I am kinda distant and sad though. Deep down I think I'll always be a bit distant and sad, and I can't explain why. I mean, I'm extremely happy with Odd... but there's always this part of me that has this small nagging feeling of sadness. And I curse that feeling.

"Why don't we get something to eat, I'm starving!" Odd exclaimed.

"Odd, you're _always_ hungry!" We all replied laughing.

He gave an indignant half-glare, but we could tell he didn't mean it.

"I guess we can go get something to eat, if we have to." I rolled my eyes, as Odd jumped up saying "Yes!" quite loudly.

We all set out to find somewhere to eat.

"And so since Odd insisted on this, I say he should pay for us all." Yumi smirked.

"Hey! That's not right, you guys! I don't have that much money." He whined.

"Just kidding, Odd." Yumi laughed, the rest joined us. Except Odd... who didn't like the idea. I smiled at him, and he automatically smiled a genuine smile. He poked me and ran in front.

"HEY!" I shouted running after him. "Don't poke me!!"

"That wasn't very smart, Odd. She doesn't like to be poked. She will kill you." Yumi said amused.

"Hey, now. I'm too young to die." I tackled him to the ground.

"No poke the Rain. Got that?" I said slightly threatening. His face reflected shock. I stuck my tongue out at him. "I win."

Odd turned to the others, "Was she always this energetic? Or is this new?"

"She wasn't quite _this _energetic, but close... when she wasn't depressed... which made it a rare occurrence..." Yumi trailed off.

My smile faltered. Not many knew that I'd been depressed all the while. I guess it's something I got good at hiding. The others looked a little shocked to know that I'd been depressed for a while, but I tried to shrug it off. I didn't want anyone to worry. I stood up and off of Odd, realizing that I still had him pinned. I turned around one more time to poke my tongue out at him. They laughed at my childish antics, but I could tell they were worried about me.

"Come on, let's go eat." I smiled.

Odd's stomach growled. "About time!" He laughed.

"Let's eat ramen!" I suggested.

"What's ramen?" Ulrich asked.

"It's kinda like a noodle soup, but I could live off of it!!" I replied happily.

"Well, we might as well try it." Jeremie said.

I smiled as we walked to a food place, the name of which I can't remember. I could tell the others were keeping an eye on me, I guess I shouldn't be surprised after my suicide attempt. I'm glad they don't know that that wasn't my first try... ANYWAYS!

"Hey, Rain." Yumi's voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"We're ready to go." She laughed at my absent-minded-ness.

"Oh..." was all I replied.

**Yumi's POV**

I looked a little worried I could tell. She seemed so out of it, and it made me wonder what would make her so spaced. She stood and paid for her portion. She flashed me a huge smile, but her eyes gave her away. They still held fear. The fear that she would hurt someone close to her.

"Come on Yumi, let's go!" she grabbed my wrist and led me out the door. The others were waiting outside. I could tell she'd never admit something was wrong. She was just too stubborn for that.

"So when's the next movie night?" Rain asked.

"Hmm... Saturday?" Ulrich said unsure. He looked to me.

"I'll ask my parents." I supplied.

"Yay!" Rain cheered.

The rest of the walk was mostly silent. It hadn't seemed like it, but the days were passing quickly. Rain walked beside me just as quietly. Even Odd was quiet. I guess it's the aftermath of Rain's attempt, and how quickly she seemed to bounce back. Is she repressing her feelings so that we don't worry? A soft sigh was hear beside me. I looked over to see Rain with her guard down for just a second, before she perked back up. A slight smile played on her lips, but her eyes were downcast. The others didn't really seem to notice. A soft sigh escaped my lips as well. Why couldn't Rain just except their help?

"You alright Yumi?" Rain asked.

"Yea, I'm just thinking, that's all. Are _you_ alright thought?" I replied.

A sad smile twitched on her lips, her eyes adverted. Only I seemed to notice it though. She quickly replaced it with a wide grin and replied cheerily, "Perfectly fine."

"Liar." I muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

**Odd's POV**

I had watched Rain all throughout the time we were eating. She seemed so distracted. Something wasn't right, I could just tell. I couldn't identify what though. The walk back was long and silent as night began to fall. I glanced at her and saw her looking at the stars, a slight smile on her face, but her eyes were solemn. I couldn't help but wonder: Had we ever known the real Rain? Saturday won't come quick enough, when I could monitor her closer and try to figure out what's wrong.

I feel sorta bad for putting Rain under a microscope. Maybe we should just flat out ask her if everything's alright... Then again, she could be stubborn and lie. She always was a stubborn girl. If only she would open up...

"Rain, I'd like to talk to you. Over there. Odd, you come to." I turned towards Yumi and saw her pointing away from the group as she spoke.

"Alright." Rain said. I nodded and followed them away.

"Rain, you've been acting weird. I want the truth, what's wrong?" Yumi said gently.

"I've noticed it too." I said, laying a hand on Rain's shoulder. She looked away.

"I've got a lot on my mind." she said quietly.

"Would you like to tell us about it?" Yumi asked.

"Not particularly."

"Alright, we'll ask again on Saturday, at movie night, is that ok?" I proposed, wanting to give Rain the time she desired.

"I guess, since I can't get outta you guys asking me." she laughed softly. "Though you'd probably be better off not knowing.

**Saturday-Yumi's House- Movie Night- Rain's POV**

Saturday came all too quickly for me, and I was little prepared for their questions. I never

had been prepared to tell them...

We sat down and watched _Finding Nemo. _(a/n come on who doesn't love Finding Nemo?)

Our fun was cut short by Jeremie's laptop's beeping. In a way, I was relieved. A distraction was perfect to keep their questioning eyes from me, but XANA isn't exactly what I intended. We stood and abandoned Nemo to run to the factory. On our way, we ran into a bit of... trouble.

XANA had possessed Jim and he had found us.

"You guys head to the factory, I'll hold him off." Odd shouted.

"But Odd-" I started.

"Relax Rae, I've done this a million times." He laughed, "I'll keep the damage minimum so that we don't need a return."

"Alright, let's go." Ulrich said as he started running again.

We quickly made it to the factory.

"I'll stay on earth so that if Odd needs me I can go, but if you guys need me, I can go to Lyoko too."

"Alright." Jeremie replied. "Get down to the scanner room, you guys. We need to work with speed."

They raced to the scanner room and were quickly virtualized.

"I see the tower Jeremie!" Aelita exclaimed.

"Good." Jeremie replied. "XANA only sent 3 crabs, so that should be easy."

"She's in the tower Jer." Ulrich said not five minutes later.

"Tower Deactivated." Aelita said shortly after.

"Alright, get ready to come back." he said. And so... they came back.

"Let's go check on Odd." I said worriedly. They nodded and we quickly run to where we last saw him. It was there that we found him-and Jim-both unconscious. Odd was badly hurt and was bleeding slightly.

"He should be alright." Jeremie said.

Yumi glanced at me and muttered, "This can't be good."

**A/N:** Definitely not the best, but I figured that something is better then nothing. Please review!! I love all of my reviewers... and I give them free (virtual) stuff, just cause they're awesome.

**Poll Question: **Should I make a sequel? If I do, the ending of the story will be different so I need to know what my readers want.

You're opinions matter a lot. So **_please_** give me your input and press that lovely button at the bottom of the page. Once again, sorry for the wait, please don't kill me. (And thanks to DancerTillIDie you really helped me to create this chapter with your review. I meant to mention you earlier... sorry. But Thanks none the less. ) Reviewer get... chocolate. And if you don't like chocolate, you'll get cookies. Regardless you all get a Break Dance Dancing Odd Figurine.


	12. Judgement

**A/N: **Ok, this is going to be the last chapter, BUT I am going to make a sequel. So, don't kill me for the way this ends because it will be continued in a sequel, where you will find out the fate of... well, I don't want to give too much away. Thank you for the wonderful reviews, I love you all! **Frog Disease:** Yes, you can have a sugar cookie with lotsa frosting and sprinkles **StrugglingArtist:** Thanks for the support as always, you rock **lyokofan30:** Thanks Ok, I'll let you read the last chapter of Learning to Love now... ducks for cover

**Disclaimer:** You'd think we'd get this by now. Me_doesn't_ own. Rainmine, Song in this chaptermine... alright I think that's it.

**Rain's POV**

I looked at Yumi. Her words were true, but the worst could wait. I ran towards Odd and dropped beside him. I gathered him in my arms.

"Odd, you should've called for help or something. Please wake up." I begged. "You got hurt because of me. You should've listened. You should've listened to me when I said to distance yourself from me. This wouldn't have happened."

"Rain, don't torture yourself. It isn't your fault alright. Don't blame yourself."

"It's my fault." I repeated, devastated that this had happened.

"Rain, XANA would've attacked him regardless if he knew you or not." Ulrich said. I was breaking again. I'd started to heal and... and XANA just made me break again. I hated... no not hated, I _loathed_ him, now more then ever. I held Odd against me possessively, as if willing him to be perfectly fine. I felt a cool liquid burn my cheeks. _I'm so weak..._ I thought furiously and fiercely brushing the tears away.

_**--Why do you pass judgement before you know someone?-- **_

I felt Odd's hand twitch and his eyes fluttered open. "Rain?" he asked me.

"I'm here." I said, hugging him tightly as if he'd disappear in a gust of wind.

"It isn't your fault. You and XANA are not connected no matter what you think. He and you are _not _the same. He possessed Jim, not you. Possessed-Jim threw me into the tree and knocked me unconscious, _not_ you. Luckily, the tower was deactivated before he got too far away." Odd looked over to the still unconscious Jim.

_**--How can you all be so unfair?**_

_**Is this where society is heading?--**_

"It's still my fault..." I muttered.

"Under what logic?" Yumi asked.

"My logic, the logic you all fail to recognize."

"Logic that isn't logical is no logic at all." Aelita said strongly.

"You're not going to do anything drastic... are you?" Odd asked, and the way he said it just broke my heart. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I was planning to eliminate the threat of XANA by killing myself...

"Rain..." Odd said softly. I closed my eyes, and tried to keep the tears from falling, but I failed, and quite miserably at that.

_**--Do you even really care?-- **_

"Please tell me you weren't planning to..." he trailed off. My grasp on him slackened and I stood up.

"Of course not..." I tried to be convincing, but my voice shook with tears and my tone was far from truthful.

Odd shakily stood and walked over to her, the others stood back, not sure exactly what to do...

I fearfully glanced at him over my shoulder, and I couldn't take the look on his face. It was like my heart was in a shredder. I bolted swiftly from the scene, tears streaming from my eyes, and falling behind me, unable to keep up with my speed. _When am I gonna stop running? _

I collapsed in an open part of the forest and just cried. I hadn't really cried in a while, and certainly not to this degree. How much can a heart break until it completely shatters and is unable to be put back together, the pieces undistinguishable between the others?

_**--Do you expect to truly know anything**_

_**When the things you tell are lies**_

_**You light your kerosene**_

**_And set fire to the things _you _despise--_**

**Odd's POV**

This can't be a good thing, not at all. More than anything in the whole world, I feared Rain would do something drastic. Even more, I feared that I wouldn't be there in time to save her. I ran after her without thinking twice, but, due to the stupid XANA attack, I barely had the strength to stand. I ended up on the ground and before too long, lost sight of her. Tears threatened to fall. I couldn't think of a life if Rain were gone. I loved her...I mean, I _love_ her.

_**--Look me in the eyes**_

_**I know something's not right**_

_**Don't tempt me with your lies**_

_**Don't pass judgement on me, alright?--**_

_Rain, please, where ever you are, please don't do anything drastic._ I prayed. If there is a God, I hope he hears me.

'_She's in emotional turmoil, Odd. You have to understand that.'_ That's what Yumi said to me. Well, now it seems she's in more, and she needs someone with her, she shouldn't be alone. Not now, not ever.

_**--I can tell, I'm not blind**_

_**These things you do are covers**_

_**You don't want anyone to see the way you hide**_

_**Why don't you open the doors wide--**_

The others caught up with me.

"Did you lose sight of her?" Yumi asked quietly.

I solemnly nodded and hoisted myself up to a standing position.

"Let's search for her." Aelita said worriedly. We all agreed, even Jeremie.****

_**--You just don't want the judgement--**_

**Rain's POV**

Emotional turmoil. I'd heard the term describe me before. It couldn't describe me any better. _I can't allow them to get hurt because of me. I can't risk it..._ I stood unsteadily and walked through the forest, back towards the school, where I'd hidden my only weapon. _Is this really who I am anymore? _I sighed, _I guess ever since I let reality hit me I haven't been the same... I was always in that protective happy shell..._

_**--Don't want to endure the pain--**_

I walked into the Kadic Academy school grounds without a second thought. Dazed, I walked to my room, my feet leading me automatically. I unlocked my door as if on autopilot and steered towards my bed. I sat down and breathed deeply. As scared as I felt, I also felt it was for the best.

_**--Us humans are pathetic**_

_**And so many others, vain--**_

_Is it really for the best though? I mean... what about Odd? _My mind argued with itself.

_He'll move on..._ I became unsure as my hands searched for the my mother's blade. It had a wolf engraved in the wooden handle. For a moment... I just stared at the blade.

_**--Look me in the eyes**_

_**I know something's not right**_

_**Don't tempt me with your lies**_

_**Don't pass judgement on me, alright?--**_

My mind made up itself and before I realized what was happening, the blade came into contact with my skin and harshly bit into it. Unconsciously it came back down to make another incision. I bit my lip. _Is it really for the best?_

**Odd's POV**

_Please... please be alright. _I pleaded in my head. We'd searched the whole forest, so now we ran-well, I limped-to Kadic Academy, the only place we could think of that we'd go.

_Please, dear God or someone just let her at least still be alive. _I pleaded in my mind, preparing for the worst as we went up the stairs, ignoring people's indignant comments if we bumped into them.

_**Learn to Live**_

_**Don't give up on yourself**_

_**Let the ones you love in**_

_**Don't push them away**_

We reached her door, and I quickly fumbled with the doorknob then threw the door open.

**Rain's POV(Minute's before the others arrival)**

The world began to slip in and out of focus, my arm, by now, soaked in my own blood. I felt lightheaded, but strangely at peace. _I'm dying to protect my friends. And people always said that it was just an expression. _I laughed slightly at the irony. _I'm sorry Odd..._ My world started to fade, until I was consumed in a darkness so intimidating, yet so comforting...

_**--Don't let yourself go**_

_**You're loved more then you know**_

_**Let the one's you love know**_

_**Don't push them away and don't let go**_

_**Look me in the eyes**_

_**I know something's not right**_

_**Don't tempt me with your lies**_

_**Don't pass judgement on me, alright?**_

**_Just learn to live and live well...--_**

**_A/N:_** ducks and covers under desk DON'T KILL ME!! Really, it's all planned out... it really is! I am going to make a sequel so I decided to end Learning to Love here, and start Learning to Live. So, it'll all work out. So don't kill me, cause I have the power to save Rain. Ok. Well, that's the end of Learning to Love. Watch for Learning to Live, where Rain's fate will be decided. Now I will take time to acknowledge my dedicated and loving reviewers, without your reviews to motivate me, this story probably never would have continued, so thank you so very very much. I hope you enjoyed this, and I'm sorry if you didn't... but I hope that you did. I finished my first full day of exams and survived, so I figured I'd celebrate and write more. So there you have it... I'll go get to work on Learning to Live, coming soon to a computer near you.


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